Fertility Update #2

Hey friends,

It has been a few rough weeks but God has gotten us through it. We got some good-ish news from the doctor this past week in regards to my biopsy. I am currently on medication that should help but I am having another procedure done in two weeks. She had found some polyps in my uterus. Polyps are usually noncancerous growth attached to the inner wall of the womb (uterus). This seems to be what is not letting my egg implant itself. I will be going under anesthia for this and should be back to normal in one to two days. I am praying that after this, everything is clear and nothing pops up. Of course I’ll need more testing after to make sure everything looks good.

I am praying that this will be the year that we conceive. It has been so hard to understand Gods timing right now. In this season of life, he is teaching me patience and trust. God knows I am the least patient person. I think through our journey, he is showing me that his timing is best. I may kick and scream but in the end, God has the final say. It hasn’t been an easy pill to swallow but through each season there is a lesson to learn. I also believe that through this, God is using this to bring me closer to him. To honor and praise him through the good and the bad. I tend to praise God when something amazing happens but when the bad occurs, I am angry and distant. This has definitely shown me to lean closer to him during tough times. Right now all I want to do is be wrapped up in God’s love and know that comfort in knowing that through him, all things are possible.

Sometimes the devil loves attacking during those low moments of anger. He fills my mind with terrible thoughts questioning God and his promises to me. My friend Danielle said this to me last week that has stuck on mind “Regardless, it is really unsettling of unknowns and our minds have a way of taking us to the darkest of places. Remember, God is for you. It doesn’t mean it will be easy or go exactly your way but just don’t fall into the lie that this is your punishment or because you aren’t ___ enough. Your mind is where the enemy can thrive because if he can take your mind off Jesus, it’s where you will lose sight of the truth”. After that message, it made me realize how much I was dwelling in the thoughts the enemy had put on my mind. We let ourselves be sad and I just dive into the deep end of sadness. I question myself, my body, God, and his love for us. I get depressed and anxious which to be honest, doesn’t help me at all. After that text, I told myself that I’d allow 24 hours of sadness. After 24 hours, I would concentrate on all the good God has promised us. It’s easier said than done though.

I am thankful for my friends and family. My friends who have prayed with me before appointments and those who keep us in their prayers. I am thankful for our family who is constantly there for me. Make sure to surround yourself with good people through the good times and the bad. Thanks for reading friends. Keep us in your prayers.